So-So Dad Posts

May 22, 2017 / / Dear MEL

Dear MEL (Mia, Ezra & Lorenzo), Around 25 years ago, give or take a year, your grandma and I were sitting in a window booth at the Taco Bell on E. North Street having lunch. As we ate, a little girl — maybe a little younger than Lorenzo is now,…

May 19, 2017 / / A Night In The Life
May 18, 2017 / / Dear MEL

Dear MEL (Mia, Ezra & Lorenzo), I’d love to say there was a time where you could count on everything you read/heard in the media to be true, but there was probably never such a time. The late-19th-century yellow journalism period comes to mind as an easy example, but the choice…

May 17, 2017 / / Useful

Of all the money I’ve spent on the children since they were born, the purchase that’s given me the most bang for the buck is probably my trampoline. (It’s neck and neck, actually, with the $600 I spent four years ago on a ’99 Plymouth Voyager as my backup van,…

May 16, 2017 / / Funny

Mid-May is here, so it’s Oscars seasons for parents. Graduation time! It doesn’t seem that long ago, does it, when you only had to endure one graduation per child? High school graduation was like the Opening Ceremonies For Finally Kicking You Out Of The House, and that’s what made the…

May 15, 2017 / / Dear MEL

Dear MEL (Mia, Ezra & Lorenzo), You’re entirely forgiven if you look around at the world and think that you’re the only one in the middle of a struggle. On top of the ever-growing pile of terrible things we adults unwittingly teach you, please toss the notion that you must…

May 12, 2017 / / Uncategorized

Dad, 9:06 a.m: Ezra declares, “this music isn’t good” and is then scolded for disrespecting the iconic R&B of Lionel Richie.  Ezra, 9:12: dad are we there yet  Dad, 9:17 am: everyone in the car except for Mia is getting schwifty in here Ezra, 9:20 im Mr bulldopps  Dad, 11:44…

May 11, 2017 / / Funny

I know it’s not Festivus time yet, but if I wait until December, I might forget some of these. Also, by December, this list would be so long that it might break the Internet, so let’s just knock off 20 parental grievances quick just so they’re nice and out in…

May 10, 2017 / / Useful

I remember perfectly the first time a classmate called me a “fatass.” I was in the second grade, and it made me feel like 105 pounds of chubby garbage. As an only child accustomed to doting parents and spared the skin-thickening slings and arrows of daily sibling battles, I was…

May 9, 2017 / / Funny

I have three kids in public school, which means that if we are eventually homeless, they’ll be excellent beggars. They’ve burnished their panhandling credentials through the years with the multiple annual fundraisers that launch them out into the neighborhood to ask the same 30 neighbor houses whether they want to…