The final days of May seem like bonus time to kids: you’re already fancy-free on summer vacation, but it’s not even June yet. Fresh from school dismissal, every night still seems like Saturday night.
So when 8:30 p.m. rolls around, it’s no longer time to start whipping the troops into their pre-bedtime rituals; we’re just getting warmed up.
The last day of May started with Day 2 of the kids’ summer weight training workout: core and grip work. Ezra powered through it despite a hairline fracture in his pinky, and we discovered that Mia’s leg lift game is so strong that she needs to strap on rollerblades to make the exercise appropriately challenging.
I could say that we also “discovered” that during workouts, Lorenzo will rip off his shirt, flex in the mirror and twerk during most of his between-sets rest periods, but honestly, that was discovered some time ago.
Post-workout, Mia retreated to her room to finish packing for her Boston trip while the boys continued blowing off energy (where else) on the trampoline. After Mia put the finishing touches on her bags, we headed out for a night walk.
We’re finally out from under the threat of Mother Nature’s delayed snowstorms, it seems, so it was still a balmy 70 degrees just shy of 9 p.m. when we headed out.
We ambled past the downtown bars, where drunken Fernando huggers were in short supply due to the early hour. We made our way to Main Street Square, where everyone ripped off their shoes and started doing handstands (Mia, picture above) and cartwheels and races across the grass. Present company excluded, of course. Handstanding and cartwheeling are more of a spectator sport for me these days.
Ezra and Lorenzo couldn’t resist padding around in the fountains, which left Lorenzo struggling for a solid two minutes to squeeze his bare wet foot into his tennis shoes. After he finally succeeded, Mia and Ezra fired up a hot take about bedtime: what was their new summer bedtime? I said that tonight they’d go to bed at 11.
They reacted as if I’d declared my intent to drop them off at an orphanage on the way home. ELEVEN O’CLOCK? IT’S SUMMER, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO STAY UP LATE!
I reminded them that 11 is two hours LATER than 9 p.m., their school bedtime. They tried to negotiate a later bedtime not only for tonight but for the entire summer. These negotiations collapsed quickly due to the person with all the negotiating leverage being uninterested in negotiating such a weighty issue while crossing a busy street with three children and a large, energetic dog.
I insisted we head back toward the bank so I could deposit the two checks I’d stuck in my pocket; the lobby ATM was locked up, so all five of us stood in the drive-thru ATM line and did our business while an admittedly very patient driver waited for us to finish up. Lorenzo asked me if the way ATM check deposits work is that the machine shreds the checks into tiny pieces so that neither the bank nor anyone else can use my money.
I told him it works nothing like that.
The last 10 minutes of the walk were devoted to deciding what movie we were going to watch when we got home. Even after arriving home, no one could agree on a movie, so Ezra — our resident World War II buff — asked if we could watch The Man in the High Castle, an Amazon show based on the Philip K. Dick book about what America would look like if we’d lost the war.
Ezra and Lorenzo were entranced by it, while Mia mainly played on her phone. After one episode, it was 11:20, and everyone was falling asleep on the couch (hence my refusal to talk about a later bedtime earlier in the evening…entirely unnecessary after all).
And that was that — another night in the Barsch Knock Life.